day #3

FIRST LOVE



Alright folks, this is a hard one.  (and I dread writing this... but I HAVE to stick with the process.)  How do you describe your first love?  How do you decide what "love" means, enough to PICK a "first love".  Because I remember being 6 years old and really crazy about my dog Barkley.  We would run and play and spend our days together.  Does that count?  haha... kidding.

I remember my first crush very well.  Brian Hackler.  We were in pre-school, 4 years old... maybe one of my first memories.  Brian was nice; we shared our crayons, and he didn't pick on me like some of the other kids did.  That's the extent of Brian that I remember.  Never saw him again.

My first "boyfriend" was Patrick Palmer. (aka Jojo!)  Jojo and I "went out" in middle school.  (Which meant we held hands and went to the movies with our parents on weekends.)  It was harmless and sweet.  One day I wrote him a note telling him I was breaking up with him. Not classy, Lynsie.  Somehow he forgave me and we managed to stay friends through high school.  =)

The first time I literally felt my heart break, was when I divorced Nathan.  Nathan exemplified a new kind of love I'd never known before. It was unconditional.  No matter what I said or did, how I acted, whether I was happy and funny or sad and depressed, he loved me the same.  He loved me as hard as he possibly could, for a very long time. 

And since then, I've been extremely picky about who I date.  I've dated a little... and had one long term relationship recently. Daniel proved to me that the unconditional love is in fact possible.  Daniel saw me at my best and at my worst, and loved me all the same.  He restored my faith in love, and proved that two people in love can be best friends too. 

And now...  I'm taking time for myself.  To be honest, there is nothing in this world I want MORE than to have a family, but I know in order to have that I need to be the best possible me I can be.  I deserve that.  and so does my family.  "When you know who you are, you'll know what to do."  -Craig Groschel