day #13

NICKNAMES

This one will be fun.  Seems that through the years I've had plenty of nicknames, most of them meant with all the love in the world, hopefully. 

Lyn - Mom's family has always called me Lyn.  Especially my Aunt Marci.  Seems like a pretty easy version of my name, but I think that side of the family are the only people that call me Lyn

Lynzer - My dad is the ONLY person that is allowed to call me Lynzer.  But something gives me serious comfort when I walk into his pharmacy in the city and I hear "Hey Lynzer" from behind the counter. 

Little Lynsie - In high school, one of my friends parents started calling me Little Lynsie.  For some reason it caught on, and ALL the parents called me little lynsie!  To this day, if I run into Sarah Neely's mom, she still calles me that.

LynSEEE - This is how our high school teachers differientiated between me and Linzy in class.  LynSEEE was me, and LinZEEE was Linzy. 

L cubed - Yeah, when I became a "Laughlin"  that meant my initials went from LLH to LLL.  My friends thought it was hilarious to call me L cubed.  Luckily that has subsided substantially.

Piglet - One of my dearest friends from high school started this one.  When we were kids we agreed he was like Pooh and I was like Piglet.  Over the years of course it's morphed into Pig, Piggy, and many other variations of the word.  He's the only person in this world that can call me Pig, and I truly feel like it's a term of endearment!

I feel like there are so many more!  But I can't think of any.  That's all for today.  =)



day #12

iPod Shuffle!

Hello gang!  So basically my task today is easy.  Turn on my iPod, put it on shuffle, and list the first 15 songs that play.  PIECE OF CAKE! (Thank God because I have a busy day!) 

Oh and by the way, the shuffle feature of my iPod is by far my most favorite thing about my phone.  It gets used all day everyday in my office on the Bose. So here we go!

1. "Blossom" - Candlebox

2. "Amazing" - Blue October

3. "Take Your Time Coming Home" - Fun!

4. "The Weight of the World" - Her Space Holiday

5. "We Laugh Indoors" - Death Cab For Cutie

6. "Paper Heart" - All American Rejects

7. "Carry Us Away" - Circa Survive

8. "Better Than We Break" - Maroon 5

9. "Set Down Your Glass" - Snow Patrol

10. "A Whisper and a Clamor" - Anberlin

11. "Still at Shore" - Shane and Shane

12. "Ready and Waiting to Fall" - Mae

13. "Happy in Love" - Dear & The Headlights

14. "Breathless" - Better Than Ezra

15. " Brightest Little Firefly" - Copeland

Ecclectic much?  =)

day #11

REGRETS

Lord help me.   I've always been one of those people that lives by the phrase "No Regrets" simply for the reason that every mistake I've made has molded me into who I am today.  And I'm never the first to say this, but if I was 100% honest... I really like who I am today.  And if it took everything I've been through to get me here, then I'm fine with it. 

Disclaimer aside, let's get into the tough stuff.

1.  I regret the way/timing in which I left my marriage with Nathan.  Leaving was absolutely the RIGHT thing for me, but the way I did it, and the timing of it, was not the best way I could have handled it.  His heart broke, over and over, as did mine.  I regret not trying harder.  I regret not being a better wife to him.  I regret putting him through all the pain that I did.

2.  I regret the way I've treated my closest friends and family, when it comes to my personal life.  I've ALWAYS been a very private, independent person.  I think those are good qualities, but I think I abuse them.  I build walls, and I try to deal with things on my own.  When I fail, and when I make the situation worse than it was in the first place, THEN I reach out to my closest friends and family.  I regret making them feel like they aren't important to me, or that I don't trust them, and I hate that. 

3. I regret how much time I spent hating my body.  Statistics say lots of girls deal with negative self-image in middle school or high school, but it is very real.  I regret hating the way I looked, starting when I was about 14, until last year pretty much.  The last year or year and a half has been the first time I've actually loved myself and the way I look.   I don't mean that conceitedly whatsoever, just the fact that I'm quite comfortable in my own skin finally.  (Yes I still count calories like a psychopath, and I hit the gym as often as possible!)

4.  I regret giving fear so much power in my life.  A few days ago I had to write about my fears, so you know what they are now.  I believe that everyone is POWERED by something.  I've spent the last three years trying to shift that in my life, from being powered by fear, to being powered by grace (more on that to come later!)  I'm doing a lot beter, but I still regret giving in to fear.

Whew... those were biggies for me.  I feel better.  =)

day #10

TRAVEL

What?  That's my prompt today?  Just "travel" ???  Is this places to which I've traveled?  Places to which I'd like to travel?  Come on people.   Guess I'll touch on both.

My family always vacationed in Colorado in the summers.  We would typically take a week long trip in a different part of Colorado each year.  Most people go there to ski, but we went with a much more enjoyable purpose:  Camping!  We loved camping, hiking, 4 wheeling, fishing, and whatever else we could get into.  I have great memories at Estes Park, Colorado Springs, Uray, Silverton/Durango, Aspen, Crested Butte, Red River, etc. 

Two of my longest (distance) vacations were when I went to England.  I went once when I was 14, and again when I was 18.  It was exciting to be so far from home, in a completely different place, but still know the language! My two favorite parts of England were Stonehenge, because that's freaking amazing, and Westminster Abby, because it was the first time my 4-years of Latin came in handy.  I could actually read some of the writings!  I got excited about who all is THERE: Charles Dickens, George Handel, Robert Browning, Geoffrey Chaucer, John Dryden, Samuel Johnson, Alfred Lord Tennyson... the list goes on and on.  Overwhelmingly fantastic.

My trip to New York City was really exciting too.  I was only there for 4 days, and actually didn't have the best time... but I have one of my favorite memories.  I played at Carnegie Hall one evening.  Just to say I know what it sounds like to play inside Carnegie Hall... that's an amazing feeling I'll never forget.

So now onto where would I like to travel?  My goodness, I'd love to go anywhere tropical, now that I don't hate water like I used to, or perhaps I never really hated water, I just hated myself.  So hopefully my next vacation will be somewhere on a beach, with a pina colada in my hand.  =)

day #9

FRIENDS

I really don't know how to describe my friends.  They are such an ecclectic group of people!  And since they are all from different parts of my life, many of them don't know each other! 

During some of my toughest times I've learned (finally) that it's okay to lean on people, and it's healthy to depend on your friends in certain circumstances.  After a few of these tough times, I decided something I felt was pretty profound at the time.  My friends are the people who make me feel most like ME.  I can completely be myself.  There's no judgement.  There's love and support.  And sometimes it's tough love when I need it!

KRISTEN

Kristen and I met in 1995.  We had class together and knew that our sisters knew each other, and the rest is history!  Kristen is the kind of girl that will celebrate with me when I'm really excited about something, or her eyes will tear up anytime I start to tear up.  She quite literally joins in my celebrations and in my sorrows.  We were best friends through those awkward middle school years, and she is still my best friend now.  I'd do absolutely anything for this girl.  When I'm stressed out or sad, our talks always make me feel better.   And she's always up for a park date!

LINZY



I knew of Linzy when we were in grade school because she lived a couple streets over from me.  We didn't become best friends until High School when we finally had classes together (she's a year younger than me.)  Linzy has always been the one that I know will shoot straight with me.  She loves me and wants the best for me, but she also isn't afraid to say "Hey Lynsie, I think this is a big fat mistake.  You're being dumb."  (Hey!  Sometimes we all need to hear that!) She has also endured many park dates with me, and we will forever be "The Lynsie's" or... "The Linzy's" or... "The Lynzy's" haha...  =)

LARESA

Laresa is one of the most incredibly STRONG women I've ever met.  We became friends in college when I started dating one of her good friends.  If there were ever two people who have gone through similar things ALL the way throughout life, it's me and Laresa. (Even to this very day)  We understand each other well, because we've been through many of the same situations.  She is unbelievable smart and she understands so much about life.  I've learned a lot about myself, just from being friends with her.  I've GOT to get up to Kansas City to see her again!  It's been tooooo long.

AMANDA

Amanda has really been my only close girlfriend here in Muskogee.  We met through Daniel (even though he wasn't there) and we hit it off!  Amanda is the best of both worlds... she's so much fun to hang out with and always up for a good time (see our silly picture!) but she's also really easy to talk to about anything. She's been an ear for me who knows how many times over the last year.  Love this girl soooo much!

DANIEL

Daniel, Daniel, Daniel.   where do I start?  Daniel is the type of person that you just trust.  He has such a solid head on his shoulders, and he gives great advice when it comes to my job, things I'm involved in within our community, and all sorts of things.  He's been an endless ear for me, and he's heard all the goods and the bads of the last 2 years.  He's loyal and dependable, and and all around terrific friend.  I'm grateful we have been able to remain close... our IHOP dates help keep me sane lately.

BRYAN

First and foremost, WHY is this the only picture I have of the two of us???  I mean, it does make me laugh a lot, but it's kind of ridiculous!   I think most people are genuine at their core, but Bryan is genuine with everyone he meets.  He's sincere and thoughtful.  He'd bend over backwards to help me (he has, many times.)  He puts others first.  He's absolutely brilliant, and open to talking about anything, and when I say anything, I mean anything! Nothing is off limits!  We've had many discussions on religion, spirituality, politics, poetry, art, WORDS, all kinds of things.  We have so many similarities, for being such different people. And he has the BEST taste in music. 

DAVID

David and I became friends in college, simply because his best friend and my best friend were dating (and they are now married! This picture is from their wedding.)  Our friendship in college grew over coffee, and during long drives listening to music.  We got through lots of things together.  Some of my favorite memories with David are pumpkin carving day at Laura's in Norman, going to baseball games, or arguing over them in his living room (damn red sox fan!), going to many many concerts... At D-Fest a few years back I was in the front row for The Format (naturally) but he couldn't get through the crazy crowd.  So, resourceful David talked two big guys into lifting him up over the crowd to get to me.  All I know is I heard my name, turned around, and David is being literally thrown at me.  haha!

day #8

FAVORITE MOVIES

I LOVE movies, so picking favorites is going to be really hard for me.  Bear with me, this list might be a little more lengthy than it should be.  I'll try to stick with one favorite per movie category.  (yeah right)

DRAMA

What can I say?  I love a good depressing moving, especially when I can hate Tom Cruise.  All star cast, so much detail in the way the stories are woven together.  All time favorite.


WESTERN

Who doesn't LOVE Tombstone?  Best Cowboy movie ever, and the ONLY thing Val Kilmer ever did right. 

COMEDY

Seriously the funniest movie on the planet.  I know every line by heart, and it seems that almost weekly, something happens that reminds me of a scene in Tommy Boy, or gives me a chance to say something like "Housekeeping!"

CHICK-FLICK

The relationship between John Cusack and Ione Skye just kills me everytime.  And I've watched this movie probably 100 times.  It's my go-to movie if I feel like a chick flick (which is pretty rare for me!)

DRAMA (yes another)

Another pretty heavy drama, pretty depressing, but so ARTFULLY done!  Phillip Seymour Hoffman is brilliant, as is Charlie Kauffman.  Be ready to cry your eyes out from emotional overload.

CHICK-FLICK (yup again)

I've always loved Kirsten Dunst, and this is another beautifully done movie.  I love her character... I feel like I identify with it a lot.  And there is a beautiful scene at the OKC Bombing Memorial Survivor Tree.  That strikes close to home too.


Not sure what to call this one, drama, love story, etc.

Once again, another great movie.  It has the love-story, the drama, the war scenes... this one is epic.


Coming of Age / Comedy

All time favorite in the Coming-of-Age or High School type movies.  Who doesn't love Renee Zellweger and Liv Tyler.  Hilarious!  (...not on Rex Manning day!!!)


Musical / Christmas Movie

 Bing Crosby has that lovely deep voice, and Danny Kaye is one of the funniest actors from this time period.  Absolutely my favorite Christmas movie.  I tend to watch it a least 3 or 4 times in December!

Series!

I freaking love James Bond!  (especially that gorgeous Daniel Craig.. mmm!!!)  I love ANY James Bond movie, even the older ones!  Every now and then I need a Bond marathon!



day #7

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

Yikes...  7 days in to this blog thing and I've been happy, skipping along, blabbing on and on about people I love and things that make me happy.  I knew sooner or later it would get real.  But this real?  I know this process isn't going to do me any good, unless I'm 100% honest.  So here I go...  these are in no particular order.

ABANDONMENT:  This has been a fear of mine for as long as I can remember.  I deal with it much better than I used to, thanks to great counseling over the years.  I don't notice it so much now, so maybe I am healing from it.  But for the longest time I feared people just walking out of my life.

REJCTION:  Who doesn't fear rejection?  Whether it's something big like a relationship, or something smaller like a task at work, rejection still hurts.  You question yourself, replay it over and over in your head, hear those tiny voices telling you why you're not good enough. 

SUCCESS:  I know, it sounds ridiculous.  I do actually fear being fiercely successful.  I fear my potential.  Part of me silently thinks if I wanted to, I could do anything at all.  I'm smart, and very capable.  And that scares the crap out of me.  Why?  Because I fear failure.  And I have this twisted belief that the greater the success, the higher up I climb, the farther I'll fall. 

LONLINESS:  Let me clarify.  I LOVE my alone time.  I will ALWAYS love my alone time.  I don't mind feeling lonely every now and then.  But I fear being alone for the rest of my life.  I know it's silly, but it's a very real fear to me.  I'm afraid I will never fully get over my commitment issues, to the point where I can settle down and be happy.  I feel like I sabatoge situations so I don't have to commit.  The few times I have committed, or been willing to commit to something big, I've been burned one way or another.  And I'm afraid I'll never fully trust in myself to choose whats best and commit to it.

THE DARK:  yeah I'm not kidding.  I like it to be really dark when I go to sleep, but I won't turn off my bedside lamp until I'm literally struggling to stay awake.  I've always hated shadows, so I avoid darkness like that when I can. 

BAD GUYS:  Don't know how else to put it... I have a very real fear of men that are out to hurt or rape women.  I'm OVERLY aware of my surroundings every single time I am in public (literally, eating lunch, or going to walmart, or anything).  First thing I do when I walk in somewhere I look for exits. 

There are more, but I think that's enough for now.  =)